He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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