Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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