I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
