Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't notice because vodka
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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