currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just found puke in my bra..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
