I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
