I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
