I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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