Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize