Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
