32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
