kristin has been a bad kristin
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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