We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
