there was a trapeze. enough said
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
