Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
