I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
