Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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