For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize