Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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