I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
