OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
