she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
