If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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