I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
