he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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