nut hugger
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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