You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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