he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
