I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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