I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
