I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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