i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
