she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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