In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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