ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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