i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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