is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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