Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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