Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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