He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
