i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
