what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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