i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
