It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
