it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They took my balls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i believe in u and ur pee
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
