You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
