Non-Jews are for practice
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
