i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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