Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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