oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
