I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.