Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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