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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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• 

  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house

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• (941): View more from Florida

  you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals

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