I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.