went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
