I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
