Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
