she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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