Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies. http://tfl.nu/26xq

Replies (16) Good night (2677) Bad night (781)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU http://tfl.nu/x7kk

Replies (76) Good night (6452) Bad night (980)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control http://tfl.nu/09xh

Replies (24) Good night (1360) Bad night (3630)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1

Replies (30) Good night (6988) Bad night (940)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila. http://tfl.nu/42di

Replies (8) Good night (1576) Bad night (4067)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6

Replies (8) Good night (2548) Bad night (1082)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness. http://tfl.nu/trjv

Replies (4) Good night (2326) Bad night (810)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it. http://tfl.nu/l6w1

Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (850)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge

Replies (5) Good night (1763) Bad night (636)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon. http://tfl.nu/he7t

Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (1574)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t

Replies (6) Good night (1785) Bad night (522)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt http://tfl.nu/qfiy

Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (428)
Favorite
(971): View more from Oregon

she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(971): she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here http://tfl.nu/l846

Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (378)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu

Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (326)
Favorite
(537): View more from

Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(537): Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out http://tfl.nu/ifru

Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (322)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard