I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.