The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So vagazzling was a success
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.