their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
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He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize