Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Whats up?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Stay up. I'm coming home in a little

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you

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  (847): Whats up? (402): Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down (847): Stay up. I'm coming home in a little (402): Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you http://tfl.nu/2oii
  Replies (2) Good night (2339) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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  (213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w
  Replies (9) Good night (4613) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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  (951): Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn? (949): Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER. http://tfl.nu/x4x0
  Replies (29) Good night (1090) Bad night (3904)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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  (515): If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/8ovo
  Replies (37) Good night (694) Bad night (3147)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.

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  (617): living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST. http://tfl.nu/nhyx
  Replies (20) Good night (3735) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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  (509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating. http://tfl.nu/g1sz
  Replies (16) Good night (3882) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.

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  (815): I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk. http://tfl.nu/8nn3
  Replies (14) Good night (3413) Bad night (886)
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  (631): View more from New York

  only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..

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  (631): only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down.. http://tfl.nu/gaw4
  Replies (6) Good night (1765) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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  (701): From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend. http://tfl.nu/i20e
  Replies (6) Good night (1855) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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  (408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h
  Replies (1) Good night (1098) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray

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  (970): Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray http://tfl.nu/kfk1
  Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.

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  (810): Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/ppa3
  Replies (9) Good night (680) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.

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  (484): I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid. http://tfl.nu/c1yp
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...

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  (307): I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me... http://tfl.nu/hfzb
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (356)

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