called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.