dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.