Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you