I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?