Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

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  (717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills. http://tfl.nu/kjxm
  Replies (9) Good night (1502) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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  (913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg
  Replies (14) Good night (628) Bad night (2373) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

  (858): View more from California

  i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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  (858): Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions. (858): i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents http://tfl.nu/ut40
  Replies (19) Good night (599) Bad night (2314)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

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  (+31): I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew. http://tfl.nu/u42t
  Replies (14) Good night (2896) Bad night (1088)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Since when do you wear a bracelet?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs

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  (508): Since when do you wear a bracelet? (603): Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs http://tfl.nu/cgne
  Replies (11) Good night (5621) Bad night (592)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1214) Bad night (3748) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your completely serious

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  (774): I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby (617): your completely serious http://tfl.nu/nhex
  Replies (9) Good night (2259) Bad night (894)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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  (412): i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form http://tfl.nu/n72m
  Replies (17) Good night (2012) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase

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  (717): You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase http://tfl.nu/khjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?

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  (646): I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10? http://tfl.nu/6lgd
  Replies (9) Good night (1510) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (2978) Bad night (560)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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  (847): She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night http://tfl.nu/5dv7
  Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (26) Good night (1945) Bad night (1988) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know

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  (203): Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know http://tfl.nu/vvh5
  Replies (5) Good night (349) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.

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  (773): All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now. http://tfl.nu/dqh8
  Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

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