Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
